You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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