he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
