Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
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She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
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I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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