Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
