If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
