One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
