Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
