All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
