Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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