Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
