You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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