YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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