Pappa wants mamma naked
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
