You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize