i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
