Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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