So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
