its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
