Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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