omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
