She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
