I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
