We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
