i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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