Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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