guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
