I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
wow bdsm is so cute
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