i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
