I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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