Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
