I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
