Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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