Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
