Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
