we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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