i can't believe i had my finger in that
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
