it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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