I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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