We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
