I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize