My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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