i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
