He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
