I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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