Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
