I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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