I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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