Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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