i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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