Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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