i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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