how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
