And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She is in my trunk
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
