OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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