i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
