Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
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Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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