New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize