Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
