You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
