Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
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