I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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