thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
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You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
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He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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