i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
