He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
